Poem: “We’ll teach you Pilates”
A poem by Tracy Belcher
We’ll teach you Pilates, the brochure stated.
The traditional version; the one Joseph Pilates created.
The method is genius; all changes are tragic!
If you water it down, it loses its magic.
Our results are proof that there’s no need for edits.
Anyone can do it. Give the people more credit.
We’ll teach you Pilates, the brochure stated.
A new, better version; the classical’s outdated.
We follow science; they have the spine all wrong.
The pelvis must stay neutral, to be healthy and strong.
We provide modifications; it’s never the same thing.
Plus, no one is strong enough for four heavy springs!
We’ll teach you pilates, the brochure stated.
It’s Pilates on steroids! …control’s overrated.
We put springs on a spaceship; it’s out of this world.
It’s fun, it’s fast, come give it a whirl.
Of course it’s Pilates! See, springs and straps!
We even made up new exercises; what’s wrong with that?
What’s Pilates anyway? Just move! Who cares?
Is a simple backbend Pilates? A walk up the stairs?
We’re not trying to be mean, but surely you understand:
You can fry an egg on an iron, that doesn’t’ make it a pan.
Well you do you, and I’ll do me.
Let the people choose who they want to see.
Ok that’s a deal. Let’s put this argument on the shelf.
I’ll celebrate my truth and worry bout myself.